Gigbinzog is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, cheerful walrus.

Gigbinzog created the planet Jupiter four million years ago.

If you believe in Gigbinzog, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gigbinzog, he will make you grow a tail.

Gigbinzog's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Gigbinzog's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs mauve.

2. Always help bats in need.

3. Never hurt great tits.

4. Do not resist order.

5. Pray towards the east.