Rakxuctarp is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, awe-inspiring hippopotamus.

Rakxuctarp created Africa eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rakxuctarp, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Rakxuctarp, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Rakxuctarp's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Rakxuctarp's Holy Commandments

1. Rakxuctarp must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Run away from gray porpoises, for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about special relativity.