Bonquatrutt Lognatken is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, astonishing porpoise.

Bonquatrutt Lognatken created bats nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bonquatrutt Lognatken, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bonquatrutt Lognatken, it will be mildly annoyed.

Bonquatrutt Lognatken's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Bonquatrutt Lognatken's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Worship no other gods but Bonquatrutt Lognatken.

3. Run away if eight whales approach from the south.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Never talk about galaxies.
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