Dibgovzen is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, egotistical hippopotamus.

Dibgovzen created a photon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dibgovzen, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dibgovzen, it will turn you into a sheep.

Dibgovzen's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Dibgovzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never go into black rooms.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never wear boots.