Nellkondissxen is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, selfish chinchilla.

Nellkondissxen created carbon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nellkondissxen, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nellkondissxen, he will curse you with boils.

Nellkondissxen's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Nellkondissxen's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven pigs approach from the north.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not place strawberries upon stone.

4. Hide from orange birds for they are unholy.

5. Do not stand on grass.