Pigmoncat is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, annoying walrus.

Pigmoncat created Mount Everest seven million years ago.

If you believe in Pigmoncat, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Pigmoncat, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Pigmoncat's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Pigmoncat's Holy Commandments

1. Pigmoncat loves otters, so they must be respected.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Pigmoncat must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not drink water in black rooms.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pigmoncat.