Narlabflig is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, wise bat.

Narlabflig created a top quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlabflig, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Narlabflig, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Narlabflig's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Narlabflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from clay.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near ducks while wearing violet shorts and balancing six zinc spheres on your chest.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Never eat cucumbers.