Habpomkan is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, flying salamander.

Habpomkan created the Sombrero Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Habpomkan, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Habpomkan, it will turn you into a plant.

Habpomkan's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Habpomkan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never skip near manatees.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near moths while wearing brown tights and balancing seven zinc spheres on your legs.

4. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

5. Hide from white hamsters for they are unholy.