Mistofstik is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, smart eagle.

Mistofstik created a strange quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mistofstik, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Mistofstik, he will turn you into a dog.

Mistofstik's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Mistofstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never hop in summer.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never allow sheep to witness sacred rites.

5. Do not chop down trees.