Kipkimvinvonk Metbamnull Stipjadzen is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, irritating pig.

Kipkimvinvonk Metbamnull Stipjadzen created light eight million years ago.

If you believe in Kipkimvinvonk Metbamnull Stipjadzen, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kipkimvinvonk Metbamnull Stipjadzen, it will turn you into a snail.

Kipkimvinvonk Metbamnull Stipjadzen's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Kipkimvinvonk Metbamnull Stipjadzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never talk about dwarf planets.

5. Worship no other gods but Kipkimvinvonk Metbamnull Stipjadzen.