Venbastzag is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, pitiless giraffe.

Venbastzag created the Small Magellanic Cloud five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Venbastzag, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Venbastzag, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Venbastzag's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Venbastzag's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat coconuts.

2. Never wear skirts.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.