Dimjatkik is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, fast seal.

Dimjatkik created the planet Saturn nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimjatkik, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dimjatkik, it will laugh at you.

Dimjatkik's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Dimjatkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching iron.

3. Dimjatkik loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.