Cemyarbess Tafkamsom is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, competent goblin.

Cemyarbess Tafkamsom created a top quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemyarbess Tafkamsom, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cemyarbess Tafkamsom, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cemyarbess Tafkamsom's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Cemyarbess Tafkamsom's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Cemyarbess Tafkamsom on top of all buildings.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Never think about spacetime near birds while wearing gray skirts and balancing five silicon spheres on your neck.