Narljamnartlarpflan is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, grumpy hare.

Narljamnartlarpflan created the Sun eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Narljamnartlarpflan, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Narljamnartlarpflan, it will boil you in a big pot.

Narljamnartlarpflan's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Narljamnartlarpflan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Narljamnartlarpflan in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never talk about bacteria.

5. Always take life seriously.