Logbatfat is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-powerful mole.

Logbatfat created Africa four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Logbatfat, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Logbatfat, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Logbatfat's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Logbatfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat peanuts.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Logbatfat.

3. Do not hurt dogs.

4. Always help pigs.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.