Rawcabhub is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unfair narwhal.

Rawcabhub created a strange quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rawcabhub, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Rawcabhub, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Rawcabhub's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Rawcabhub's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five swans approach from the south.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics.

3. Never mention seals.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always wear cyan.