Stigfasrip is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, effective penguin.

Stigfasrip created gold eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stigfasrip, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Stigfasrip, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Stigfasrip's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Stigfasrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near whales.

2. Never talk about quantum gravity near capybaras while wearing indigo boots and balancing six silver spheres on your face.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always make sure there are no shrews in a room before entering it.

5. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Stigfasrip in the centre of the settlement.