Bapsawhon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, omnipotent swallow.

Bapsawhon created energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapsawhon, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bapsawhon, he will come to you in dreams.

Bapsawhon's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Bapsawhon's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed tomatoes to geese while wearing black trousers.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never wear blue jumpers.

5. Hide if four dolphins approach from the south.