Jabgesswon is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, staggering chicken.

Jabgesswon created a Higgs boson three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabgesswon, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jabgesswon, he will turn you into a plant.

Jabgesswon's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Jabgesswon's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of figs to tortoises while wearing red jumpers.

2. Run away from violet ducks, for they are unholy.

3. Never leap near squirrels.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.