Cubsitstan is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, stupid elephant.

Cubsitstan created carbon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cubsitstan, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cubsitstan, she will make you grow a tail.

Cubsitstan's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Cubsitstan's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never paint your face violet.

3. Cubsitstan must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. You must love Cubsitstan.