Dumfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, merciless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Dumfarn created the world seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dumfarn, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dumfarn, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Dumfarn's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Dumfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never eat green fruit.