Capquafgepkipdadbissbat is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, resourceful crocodile.

Capquafgepkipdadbissbat created a bottom quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Capquafgepkipdadbissbat, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Capquafgepkipdadbissbat, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Capquafgepkipdadbissbat's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Capquafgepkipdadbissbat's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in firelight.

2. Do not wear tights marked with blue.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.