Tailcinken is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, annoying jackal.

Tailcinken created bats nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailcinken, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tailcinken, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tailcinken's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Tailcinken's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always wear pink.

5. Never talk about optics near otters while wearing orange coats.