Gofloopmut is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, unjust coyote.

Gofloopmut created a strange quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofloopmut, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Gofloopmut, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gofloopmut's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Gofloopmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not speak about gooseberries.

4. Never hurt tapirs.

5. Always help sick birds.