Vongatmisfat is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, ill-tempered camel.

Vongatmisfat created snails three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vongatmisfat, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vongatmisfat, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Vongatmisfat's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Vongatmisfat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair gray.

2. Never think about photosynthesis.

3. Never curse while facing west.

4. Always treat geese with great respect.

5. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Vongatmisfat in the centre of the settlement.