Ganliklat is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, duplicitous faun.

Ganliklat created vertebrates five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganliklat, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ganliklat, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Ganliklat's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Ganliklat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never eat cucumbers.

4. Pigs are not to be trusted.

5. Do not covet oxen.