Bednurdoncepstanbadgatfid Flatstigtif is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, staggering snake.

Bednurdoncepstanbadgatfid Flatstigtif created the solar system two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bednurdoncepstanbadgatfid Flatstigtif, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bednurdoncepstanbadgatfid Flatstigtif, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Bednurdoncepstanbadgatfid Flatstigtif's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Bednurdoncepstanbadgatfid Flatstigtif's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bednurdoncepstanbadgatfid Flatstigtif.

3. Never wear rings.

4. Never think about dark energy near gulls while wearing black trousers and balancing seven titanium spheres on your neck.

5. Never talk about planets.