Afpasbast is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, slow bird.

Afpasbast created the planet Earth three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Afpasbast, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Afpasbast, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Afpasbast's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Afpasbast's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always remove coats before entering holy places.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Never gather five seals in one place.

5. Worship no other gods but Afpasbast.