Betsaffat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, temperamental fairy.

Betsaffat created light two billion years ago.

If you believe in Betsaffat, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Betsaffat, she will come to you in dreams.

Betsaffat's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Betsaffat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

2. Never sit near manatees.

3. Never talk about gravity near badgers while wearing green boots and balancing six aluminium spheres on your back.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

5. Never go into blue rooms.