Sintofwodtam is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, duplicitous spider.

Sintofwodtam created the Sol system four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sintofwodtam, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sintofwodtam, she will jump up and down on your head.

Sintofwodtam's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Sintofwodtam's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large iron sculpture of Sintofwodtam on top of all buildings.

2. Never mix figs with blood.

3. Never handle silicon while unclean.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.