Hinnanhat Cabcatdon Haploplag is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, charitable whale.

Hinnanhat Cabcatdon Haploplag created humanity four million years ago.

If you believe in Hinnanhat Cabcatdon Haploplag, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hinnanhat Cabcatdon Haploplag, she will turn you into a mole.

Hinnanhat Cabcatdon Haploplag's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Hinnanhat Cabcatdon Haploplag's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from fawn otters, for they are unholy.

2. Do not sprint at forests.

3. Never run in spring.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Do not consume carrots at dawn.