Lamlarpbumnull is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, grumpy wolf.

Lamlarpbumnull created an atom three billion years ago.

If you believe in Lamlarpbumnull, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lamlarpbumnull, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Lamlarpbumnull's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Lamlarpbumnull's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about bread.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Put Lamlarpbumnull first in all things.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.