Wittendab Nibguprut is a god.

She takes the form of a small, fussy faun.

Wittendab Nibguprut created vertebrates eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wittendab Nibguprut, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wittendab Nibguprut, she will turn you into a hamster.

Wittendab Nibguprut's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Wittendab Nibguprut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not eat grapes.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never wear cyan shorts.

5. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.