Vedbemwan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, flying aardvark.

Vedbemwan created a top quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Vedbemwan, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vedbemwan, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Vedbemwan's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Vedbemwan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never wear shirts.

5. Never mention horses.