Gomnutgun is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, weak elephant.

Gomnutgun created the world seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gomnutgun, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gomnutgun, she will try to impress you with trees.

Gomnutgun's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Gomnutgun's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss the inheritance of acquired characteristics in public assemblies.

2. Always remove trousers before entering holy places.

3. Always help moths in need.

4. Always wear plain stockings during rituals.

5. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.