Flamnarsistarp is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, staggering centipede.

Flamnarsistarp created light four years ago.

If you believe in Flamnarsistarp, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Flamnarsistarp, he will be very unhappy.

Flamnarsistarp's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Flamnarsistarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not wear trousers marked with yellow.

3. Never fashion tools from stone.

4. Never think about optics near capybaras while wearing red coats and balancing eight titanium spheres on your feet.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.