Hamtarcudtin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, humane goat.

Hamtarcudtin created matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamtarcudtin, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hamtarcudtin, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Hamtarcudtin's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Hamtarcudtin's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain kneeling at midnight.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Never think about thermodynamics.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.