Carfotgup is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, almighty lobster.

Carfotgup created an atom nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Carfotgup, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Carfotgup, he will boil you in a big pot.

Carfotgup's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Carfotgup's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never talk about swans.

3. Do not wear brown clothing.

4. Always help goats.

5. Do not drink alcohol.