Flapfarfeb is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, dishonourable raccoon.

Flapfarfeb created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flapfarfeb, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flapfarfeb, it will turn you into a mouse.

Flapfarfeb's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Flapfarfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Flapfarfeb's name in vain.

2. Never eat melons.

3. Always look after injured dolphins.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Fast once a month.