Gatdumkip is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, resourceful fish.

Gatdumkip created dark energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatdumkip, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gatdumkip, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Gatdumkip's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Gatdumkip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never wear yellow jumpers.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. You must pray to Gatdumkip five times a day.