Ditspagfag is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, slow gorilla.

Ditspagfag created a bottom quark four years ago.

If you believe in Ditspagfag, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ditspagfag, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Ditspagfag's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Ditspagfag's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.