Camvadvig Cidbafhab is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, annoying seal.

Camvadvig Cidbafhab created Asia six million years ago.

If you believe in Camvadvig Cidbafhab, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Camvadvig Cidbafhab, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Camvadvig Cidbafhab's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Camvadvig Cidbafhab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not record signs concerning stars.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not wear mauve clothing.

4. Pray only in shadows.

5. Never think about dark energy near eagles while wearing cyan shorts and balancing three zinc spheres on your head.