Kabbotrul Betbugkom is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, emotional hippopotamus.

Kabbotrul Betbugkom created humanity eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kabbotrul Betbugkom, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kabbotrul Betbugkom, she will destroy your favourite star.

Kabbotrul Betbugkom's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Kabbotrul Betbugkom's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange sheep for they are unholy.

2. You must love Kabbotrul Betbugkom.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.