Cuntenlid is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, two-faced faun.

Cuntenlid created the planet Venus six million years ago.

If you believe in Cuntenlid, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cuntenlid, he will not invite you to parties.

Cuntenlid's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Cuntenlid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat cucumbers.

2. Cuntenlid loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

5. Never hurt rats.