Jonrapyat is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, compassionate beaver.

Jonrapyat created the planet Mars three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonrapyat, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jonrapyat, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Jonrapyat's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Jonrapyat's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry whales.

2. Do not speak about pineapples.

3. Never go into pink rooms.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.