Parkjantetti is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, omnipotent fairy.

Parkjantetti created Africa three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Parkjantetti, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Parkjantetti, he will turn you into a plant.

Parkjantetti's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Parkjantetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Parkjantetti in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never wear magenta boots.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Parkjantetti.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.