Vonjiplun is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, capable narwhal.

Vonjiplun created the Sun four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonjiplun, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vonjiplun, she will be very sad.

Vonjiplun's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Vonjiplun's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think about bacteria.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory.