Nigbamrap is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, all-knowing weasel.

Nigbamrap created Europe two million years ago.

If you believe in Nigbamrap, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nigbamrap, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Nigbamrap's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Nigbamrap's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt pigs.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near birds while wearing cyan ear rings and balancing four aluminium spheres on your neck.

3. Never write about dark matter.

4. Do not eat beans.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.