Parklamart is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, happy gorilla.

Parklamart created the planet Venus two years ago.

If you believe in Parklamart, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Parklamart, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Parklamart's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Parklamart's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Never prepare coconuts during autumn.

3. Do not resist order.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from stone.

5. Do not name children after great tits.