Bigtofkap is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, benevolent weasel.

Bigtofkap created matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bigtofkap, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bigtofkap, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Bigtofkap's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Bigtofkap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Put Bigtofkap first in all things.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never talk about snakes.

5. Always obey Bigtofkap's priests.