Honsidfem is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, kind coyote.

Honsidfem created the planet Saturn four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Honsidfem, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Honsidfem, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Honsidfem's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Honsidfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair mauve.

2. Never feed lots of lentils to capybaras while wearing gray stockings.

3. Do not wear zinc on your body.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Always cleanse blood with water.