Farnjamjon is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, stupid clam.

Farnjamjon created bats nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farnjamjon, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Farnjamjon, he will try to impress you with trees.

Farnjamjon's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Farnjamjon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Farnjamjon.

3. Never record numbers.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near voles while wearing mauve shoes and balancing four zinc spheres on your legs.

5. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Farnjamjon in the centre of the settlement.