Kabbesthig is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, able rat.

Kabbesthig created an electron six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kabbesthig, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kabbesthig, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kabbesthig's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Kabbesthig's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Erect nine aluminium sculptures of Kabbesthig on top of important buildings.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Kabbesthig.

4. Never feed tomatoes to tortoises while wearing violet shirts.

5. Heed all visions.