Lognuttbap is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unfair squid.

Lognuttbap created viruses seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lognuttbap, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lognuttbap, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Lognuttbap's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Lognuttbap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Lognuttbap's name in vain.

2. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Lognuttbap in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never write about enzymes.

4. You must love Lognuttbap.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate ants.