Tofyattmab is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, all-knowing rat.

Tofyattmab created tapeworms eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tofyattmab, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tofyattmab, it will ignore you.

Tofyattmab's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Tofyattmab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Tofyattmab loves gulls, so they must be respected.