Laggidgem is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, clever donkey.

Laggidgem created a charm quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Laggidgem, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Laggidgem, it will turn you into a rock.

Laggidgem's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Laggidgem's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to seven before sleeping.

2. Do not study deoxyribonucleic acid on holy days.

3. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Laggidgem in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never speak at dusk.

5. Never approach rivers carrying stone.