Gebtarprilshav is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, boastful beaver.

Gebtarprilshav created a charm quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gebtarprilshav, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Gebtarprilshav, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gebtarprilshav's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Gebtarprilshav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Retreat if four great tits approach from the east.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near hamsters while wearing indigo trousers and balancing six carbon spheres on your back.